love the one(s) you're with...

I've never had two men in my life before. I never had to juggle dates and times or remember which chit-chat I had already shared. Generally speaking, my guiding principle has always been: feel free to date this guy if you are absolutely sure that you have already fallen giddy in-love with him.

This Valentine's Day, I had two guys for the first time. It required a flexible schedule and some small (tiny baby) talk to keep the little one happy. But my principles are still intact. No doubt about it. I'm crazy in love.

stab me once, shame on you.

12 lbs. 6 oz. and 23.75 inches
50th percentile for weight
70th percentile for height

As Daddy said, this boy is "one long, tall drink of milk."

Jack had his two month well-baby check yesterday. Daddy met us at the doctor's office, which was a great help as it seems to be cold and rainy every time we go. First, he was weighed and measured. The nurse did a double-take when she realized that little-bitsy had grown four inches in the last six weeks. Not so little-bitsy anymore! She was so unsure of it that she measured him again and came up with the same number. No wonder our boy has been wanting lots to eat and lots of sleep.

Jack jumped off of his old growth curve (5th percentile for weight, 10th percentile for height) and onto a longer, plumper one. We couldn't be more pleased as we think he is where he needs to be after a shaky start. While Jack is solid, he still has room for a few more thigh rolls.

Then it was time for four immunizations--two shots in each thigh. Daddy held his arms and tried to comfort him while the nurse worked super quickly. This mommy really appreciated it as Jack let out this piercing scream that definitely meant pain and surprise. When she was finished, the nurse told me that I could pick him up and he was just precious. He buried his face in my neck and snuffled for a minute and then stopped crying all together. Brave boy! Every once in a while, there is nothing like a mommy hug.

Jack and I stayed home from work today because I thought he might feel pretty crummy. He hasn't shown any signs of fever, though, and I haven't noticed any extra fussiness. He's been pretty tired today and that's okay with me. We've had a couple of nice cuddly naps together. If this is the worst of it, I might have to have him immunized more often. Just kidding. Don't tell Jack I said that!

two-riffic months

Dear Jack,
Two months! Man, it flies by. Sometimes, I think I can literally see you growing in my arms. Now that I know you've gained four inches in the last six weeks, I know I was right.

We're starting to settle into a routine as a family. Actually, we were getting the hang of things and then I went back to work and you and Daddy and I are still working on finding equilibrium. The balance between work and play has always been hard for both of us, but I promise that we're working on it. (See what I mean: working on play. ack!) I wish I could say that once we get the hang of this, it will be steady-as-you-go easy and that we'll know what we're doing and we'll never forget your diaper bag or show up late to a meeting or come home with work to be finished. Our life together (before you and with you) has been an awesome adventure so far, but adventures aren't adventures without twists and turns and I think we'll all have our fair share of those. Besides, no boy who grows as fast as you do can be that adverse to change!

On that note, you are wearing size 1 diapers. You outgrew the newborn diapers at about five and a half weeks. It probably would have been sooner if you hadn't lost a little bit of weight in your first week--and if your mother had noticed that the newborn size was starting to look like a speedo on you.

This month you are sleeping for longer periods. You go to bed between seven and eight every night and then you get up again at about 11 and then again at 4 or 5. You still take at least three naps each day, but when you are awake, you are more alert every day. Whether eating or sleeping, you go from zero to sixty in four seconds. That is, you are perfectly content and then, well, you aren't. You are learning how to fall asleep on your own. You aren't learning that YOU MUST TRY TO BURP AT THE END OF EVERY MEAL. Instead, you scream as soon as the milk is taken away and only once you've let out at least one whopper of a burp and been given a pacifier do you really calm down. We go through this between seven and eight times a day.

This month, you and I went to San Antonio four times. What a star traveller you are!! I hope this means you'll eventually be up for a trans-Atlantic flight. Let me just say that while there are many, many disadvantages to having half of your family in another country (like missing them all the time) there are some perks when they live in Europe and not, oh I don't know, Kentucky. Just remember that it takes as long to get to Kentucky in a car as it does to get to London in a plane. And there are no potty breaks in the car. Or opportunities to eat anything. Not with your Grandaddy.


You have adapted wonderfully to going to work with me. We usually stay for about six hours and you nap and eat and play. You also get loved on by all of my coworkers and any visitors who happen to stop by. You are far more popular than I am. At the end of the day, after all that attention, you are wiped out--and so is your mother. While it isn't ideal to be back to work so soon, I find it easier to make this transition when you are no more than a few feet away. I'm just not ready to give you over yet.

In the last couple of weeks, you are doing some social smiling. You are super sneaky and it is hard for me to catch it on film; actually, it is nearly impossible. Once you get a little bit better at it, I am determined to capture it as your smiles melt me. And you are a pretty laid-back little guy, so I think we may just find that you are smiling all the time soon.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mother and I have wondered whose mother I would be. (When I was a little girl, I would pretend that I was being interviewed about my life story. I had a million fantasies about what it would be like to grow up.) Now, I know. I am Jack Stafford's mommy and I can't imagine it any other way.

Thanks for letting me begin to know you.
Love you always and always,
Mommy

imitation is the highest form of flattery...

Baby boy does his best impression of Uncle Theo:

hit the road, jack.

Twenty ounces of milk. Twelve diapers. Six hours of running around. Three changes of clothes. Two diaper bags. One beautiful boy. And a really big cup of coffee.

Jack and I took our first road trip together yesterday--a quick jaunt to San Antonio to see Bibi and Grandaddy, who were both in town for work. We were anxious to get together even for a short time as I was sure that Jack had grown visibly in the three weeks since we had last seen my parents. Plus, he really does get cuter every day.

I am willing to out myself as a card-carrying member of over-packers anonymous. (There was the time I broke a toe dropping a 50 lb suitcase on my foot after dragging it six blocks and toting it down two flights of stairs. Of course, I only needed to lug it up two more flights of stairs, through a train terminal, on and off an Amtrak, onto a bus, and around two airports. With the foot. No sweat.) But I felt like I was reaching new heights as I packed us up for the afternoon. This is the thing, though: when you travel with a person who eats eight times a day, can't walk or talk, and may at any moment end up with bodily fluids all over his clothes...you just need lots of stuff.

We met up with Grandaddy at about 2 and headed to the hotel where Jack played and ate and slept and ate until Bibi arrived at 4!

Then we headed to Luciano's. Jack slept through the meal and only woke up at the end so that the mamarazzi and bibirazzi could get their fill of photos. There was a quick diaper change and then Jack and I were on the road again. We stayed later than we had planned, but it is hard to tear ourselves away from the grands.

Sweet boy made it to the Austin City Limits before he started to cry and then I couldn't wait to get home. We woke Daddy up when we got in. Then my big sleepy guy helped get my little sleepy guy into bed. Then a very sleepy mommy got to join in soon after.

Who knew that a trip to San Antonio could be such an adventure!

just ducky...

In the first ultrasound in which Jack looked remotely like a shadow of a fetus, he already had his hands to his mouth. My mom saw it and said he looked like a duck--a comment that my brother-in-law rightly pointed out only a mother could get away with. Sort of.

Despite my consternation that my mother thought my baby looked like a mallard, his nickname was "Ducky" even after we found out he was a boy, even after we picked out his name.

Though we don't call him Ducky much now
(something I'm surprised about really), we have lots of mementos of that time.

welcome home again.

A baby really does change everything. This morning we were up and ready to go to church by 8:30 when only a month ago we found ourselves struggling to be ready by 11. It was the weekend afterall. But as babies don't seem to understand the concept of weekends (every day is play day!) Jack got us up and going before we could say "This Week with George Stephanopolous."

He fell asleep on the five minute ride over and continued to snore softly (although at one point i shook his foot to stop him as it seemed really loud) through the entire hour. When we were gathering our things to leave, the little boy sitting behind us said, "he is so cute. i started looking at him when you came in and i just kept looking." So sweet!

We'll brave the bigger service once the peak of flu season is behind us, but in the meantime, I so much wanted Jack to go there--to the church that has been my home for fifteen years, to the people who have been our family when our family couldn't be present.

I started thinking that the first Sunday my family was at Oak Hill, I was sitting with another John Phillip. (Luckily Pawpee didn't sleep through the service! But he did sing off key.) That was the last weekend that my family spent with my grandfather. My grandfather was an extremely friendly person and so he met many people at Oak Hill that Sunday. When he died, they sent literally hundreds of cards. They made dozens of casseroles. They even came in and emptied our refrigerator of rotten food when we didn't return from the funeral as quickly as planned. They welcomed him--they welcomed every member of my family--into their hearts as if we were old friends.

And here I am, so many years later with this John Phillip, who was also welcomed even before he was known.

I hope he always calls the holy ground of this place home.